A Single Frosted Rose
by Mitties
Summary: Some short Leaf x Hawk vignettes. R&R!
1. Rights and Wrongs

_ThunderClan's medicine cat. I'm ThunderClan's medicine cat._ _This is so wrong._ Her breath came quickly. She stared out across the border, the stream sparkling, lit up with the rays of the moon. How could something so wrong feel so... so _right?_

Leafpool quickly glanced at Silverpelt. No cloud floated in front of the moon, no omens, nothing... Nothing to guide her, to tell her what to do. She felt anguish building up in her heart. All she wanted was _love._ It was mouse-brained that medicine cats couldn't have a mate or kits.

She stared at the stream. Her paw tentatively dipped into it. Little minnows sped away from her claws; they danced, played with her, leaped in and out. The slender tabby's attention was so drawn to them that she didn't notice the presence approaching.

"That's not how you catch fish." A superior tone, one that contained a world of arrogance. Leafpool quickly withdrew her paw and stared. The strong tom had melted away into the shadows; his ice blue eyes watching her with their unwaveringly cold stare. Could he see? Could he see all the pain he was causing her?

She hated how he looked at her like she was worthless, she hated how he thought he was above her, just because she was so petite and he had a strong, handsome, well-muscled body... her claws scraped into the ground. She pushed away her emotions and glared.

"I wasn't trying to." With that, Leafpool turned tail on Hawkfrost and sped away, back to the confinement of ThunderClan camp.


	2. Never Destined

The early morning chill made her shiver, in spite of her thick fur. Leafpool lay stretched out in her nest of moss, reminiscing. How many times had she talked to Hawkfrost on the journey? How come he had seemed so... so _free_ then, and once arriving at their new territories, he'd gone back to his old self?

She knew he and Brambleclaw still talked sometimes. Hawkfrost seemed friendly enough. Did he know how Leafpool felt about him? She could've sworn she saw her knowledge reflected back at her in those eyes of his, those beautiful eyes, last night. When he had told her she was catching fish wrong. The ThunderClan medicine cat growled under her breath. _I wasn't even trying, mouse-brain!_

Squirrelflight entered, her green eyes stormy. Leafpool could tell she had Brambleclaw had had another fight. The sisters faced each other, one with a sense of understanding, the other bristling, until Leafpool calmly said, "What happened?"

"That mouse-brain Brambleclaw! He has to understand I'm _over_ him!" Even as she heard her sister snarl these words, Leafpool knew they weren't true. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were a match made in StarClan. She only half-listened to her sister's rantings as she gazed out into the camp. Ashfur sat some ways away, watching them keenly. Leafpool felt uncomfortable. She'd never really liked him...

He and Squirrelflight were never destined to be together. Just like her and Hawkfrost.


	3. Complicated

Her paws clawed desperately at the rock. The wind whistled through her tabby fur. Eyes wide with terror, Leafpool screamed, "Help!"

In the next instant a cat was bending over her, staring with huge eyes. Crowfeather.

He sank his teeth into her scruff and began pulling her. For one horrible, precarious second, Leafpool felt them both going over; then he tugged with surprising strength, and they both sprawled up over the rocky precipice.

"I must be the last cat you'd want to save," she commented lightly. Crowfeather's eyes burned into hers. "Is that what you think?" Her attention was already somewhere else. How was Hawkfrost doing? No, she _couldn't_ feel for him; it was wrong, it was so wrong, he was the one who caused this rebellion in the first place...

Crowfeather's confession drew her back to reality. She locked eyes with him, stunned. Did he think she loved him? He must have, with the way he was looking at her! Had her love for Hawkfrost shone in her eyes while they were lying there?

That must be it. Her mouth gaped; she tried to say that it was all a mistake, they couldn't, he had gotten it all wrong, but she was too soft of heart for that. Her protests died in her throat as ThunderClan warriors came rushing to her aid.

Leafpool heaved a great sigh, feeling the rain spatter all over her coat. She loved Hawkfrost, who didn't love her. Crowfeather _did_ love her, and thought she loved him, when she didn't. Things had gotten so complicated in the space of a few minutes.

"StarClan," she whispered, so softly that only she could hear, "If you're still there, please, tell me what to do."


	4. A Hollow Hole

Leafpool felt a hollow hole yawn inside of her. Surely she couldn't love Crowfeather _too?_

Was it possible to have two soulmates? Was it possible to be in love with two toms at once?

At first, she'd only seen Crowfeather as a nuisance, but was too soft of heart to reject him after that time at the clifftop. But with her nightly meetings, she'd been surprised at how intelligent, kind, and caring he was. Her feelings for him had deepened from friendship to love.

But Hawkfrost... she loved him, too!

Lost in her thoughts down by the stream, she heard another cat approaching. Her head snapped up.

Those icy blue eyes... that familiar tabby fur... Hawkfrost! She poised herself to flee, her back legs already churning up dirt.

"Leafpool." His voice was strangely calm. "Stay." She stared at him, bewildered. Did he want to kill her for trespassing on RiverClan territory? But she wasn't even on his territory, she wasn't even across the stream --

"Follow me." His voice was strangely soft. Against her will, Leafpool's body moved forward, her paws starting to pad toward him, across the stream. For an instant she floundered, but instinct took over and she swam through easily.

She leaped on the opposite bank and began to run after him.


	5. Thank You

He led her to the outskirts of RiverClan territory. She followed him, nervous and confused. What was he doing? _Where is he taking me? I- I don't..._ She didn't understand. She didn't. But Hawkfrost wouldn't do anything bad to her. Would he?

The muscular tom soon came to a stop. His light-colored fur glowed in the night, and he looked more radiant than ever to Leafpool at that moment. Amber eyes wide and distraught, she approached softly.

He had led her to a bush.

It looked like Twolegs had once taken care of it. Leafpool wondered what herbs were on it; was that why he'd brought her here? For an instant she was dissappointed. Oh well, she was a medicine cat, and maybe he was trying to be helpful.

That was when she noticed the roses.

They were beautiful, blooming all over the bush. She unconsciously found herself pressing against his warm, comforting pelt, drinking in his scent, and gazing at them. "Oh, Hawkfrost," she whispered. "They're beautiful..."

He twined his tail with hers and gazed down seriously in her eyes. Leafpool saw her feelings were reciprocated. It felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she slumped, relieved.

"Leafpool," he mewed. "I've always been attracted to you. Ever since I came into the forest, I loved you. You're beautiful, you're talented - you're the most amazing she-cat I've ever met." She didn't need to look back into his eyes to know it was true.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."


	6. StarClan's Sign

"Leafpool." His voice was gentle. He beckoned her to stand, then led her to the other side of the bush and pointed with his tail. "Look."

Her breath caught in her throat. It wasn't even leaf-bare yet, but one of the roses was frosted over. A single leaf, sprouting from the rose, was iced over too. It glittered in the sliver of moonlight that beamed through the trees. She was entranced by its shimmering surface, and hesitantly reached out a paw to touch it.

"StarClan has sent us a sign," he said tenderly, which sounded odd with his gruff voice. "Look at it - a single leaf is frosted over. Leaf and frost - they mean us, Leafpool and Hawkfrost! StarClan approves of us." Hawkfrost stated this gingerly. Leafpool wanted it to be true, she wanted it with all her heart, and yet she was still hesitant.

All of a sudden Hawkfrost looked up. The sky had turned a shade lighter than before; now it was no longer almost black, but indigo. He rose. "I need to leave. You should probably be getting back to." Leafpool could sense his reluctance.

There was still a lot of the night left, though. Why did he want to go? Whatever. It was his decision. She pressed herself into his pelt one more time and said, "I love you." His only reply was a gentle lick across her ears.

Leafpool fairly pranced over RiverClan territory, back to ThunderClan. The stream successfully washed away all the enemy Clan's scent, even though she was now soaking wet. Leafpool scowled. Hawkfrost laughed. She batted him playfully across his ears, and he nodded at her once before he left.

Leafpool watched his form fade into the distance. That was odd - he was heading towards ShadowClan territory. Curiosity piqued, and since she was wet anyway, Leafpool waded back into the stream to cross over and follow him.


	7. Hear Me Out

The medicine cat trekked across RiverClan territory, stopping every once in a while to fling mud from her paws. Her amber eyes gazed into the darkness. The sun was going to be rising within the space of a few hours. If she could just find out _why_ Hawkfrost was going to ShadowClan territory, then she'd be fine. Leafpool feared for his safety - most cats were nocturnal; it was just lucky that none were out tonight. But she was sure there would be some kind of patrol out in ShadowClan around this time...

His scent trail was easy to follow. _Doesn't he worry about anyone following him?_ Leafpool mused to herself. Then his scent abruptly ended. She darted under a nearby shrub to hide, peering out to see if she could spot what had made him come so far.

She smelled ShadowClan scent. She saw Russetfur winding herself around Hawkfrost.

She saw Hawkfrost twining his tail with hers, and repeating the exact same lines he'd used on her.

Leafpool stared. She felt a terrible sense of betrayal. She felt as if her heart had been ripped out and clawed. She felt broken. Unneeded. Unwanted. Stupid. Ugly. Horrible...

The medicine cat suddenly spun and raced back to ThunderClan territory. She was only half-aware that both Hawkfrost and Russetfur looked up, and Hawkfrost exchanged a few hurried goodbyes with Russetfur and began chasing her, calling "Leafpool, wait! I can explain!"

She was only half-aware of the huge racket she made, of how many times she stumbled, of how she launched herself in the river and swam to the other side. She was only half-aware of Hawkfrost catching up to her.

"Please, Leafpool, hear me out."

A snarl replaced the disgusted look on her muzzle as she pricked her ears forward.


	8. Betrayal

Hawkfrost launched into an apology. "Look, Leafpool, I'm sorry. _She_ came up to _me_ and started doing that, so it looked like-"

She cut him off with a snarl. "Oh, believe me, I know what it looked like. I was watching you the whole time you were whispering those sweet nothings in her ear. I was watching the whole time you _betrayed_ me!" Her eyes were merely pools of hurt. Her voice grew soft. "Why did you even bother with me then, if you thought me that useless? Is it a game to you?"

Leafpool already knew the answer, but she had to ask anyway. Hawkfrost shook his head. She found that all the more despicable, how he would lie to her when she knew that in his heart he was saying yes.

But he was smooth. He wouldn't lose to her. A snarl erupted from her throat as she leapt at him. Leafpool took the great tom by surprise, but with her limited warrior skills and petite body, she didn't last long.

"I think you're jealous." There was a hint of arrogance in his voice now. Leafpool wouldn't let him win.

"Well, I have something you should know too! I've been seeing another tom for a while now. More than I have you. And I've loved him more than I could ever love you! Did you really think I could even bear the presence of a relative of _Tigerstar's_?!" His icy eyes narrowed. She'd hit a nerve; Leafpool gave him a bitter smile. She knew both Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost hated being taunted about their father.

Another ugly phrase came from her. "It hurts to lose at your own game, doesn't it?"

Now he just stared at her, speechless. She whirled around and started stomping back to ThunderClan camp. "Wait!" He called, using one last protest. "Leafpool, StarClan sent us a _sign!_ The frosted leaf-"

"You mean frosted _rose,_" Leafpool spat. "Maybe it means you belong with someone who has the same _russet fur_ color as the rose." Blinded by her anger, she raced even faster to ThunderClan camp, just as the sun ascended across the sky.


	9. Dreamed Reality

Her paw pads were scraped and bruised from clambering over rock. Crowfeather walked behind her, making sure she didn't fall. As much as she loved him, she wanted to be back in the forest. Back where underground wasn't hard and sharp, but soft and nice. Back where her family and friends were. Back where she belonged.

Leafpool hadn't seen Hawkfrost since that confrontation she'd had with him over Russetfur. Or maybe he was just avoiding her, who knew. In any case, she didn't _want_ to see him. She wanted to leave the forest forever. Which was what she was doing now. Crowfeather had convinced her that they could start a new life, a _better_ life, out here... with the rocks.

The dream seemed to be out of their grasp. How were they supposed to thrive here, with scarce prey and no protection from predators? Leafpool found herself missing her mother and her sister. She missed the daily bustle of Clan life, the forest noises she'd grown so accustomed to that she'd forgotten what it felt like without them. The constant presence of the other ThunderClanners. All of it was gone here.

She spared a glance at Crowfeather. They rested now, sharing tongues, both drowsy with depleted energy from the constant treacherous climbing. She was tired of scrambling over these stupid rocks. She'd been a mouse-brain to follow Crowfeather out here in the first place!

Yet as she gazed at him, Leafpool knew she loved him more than she could ever love another tom. Even Hawkfrost. Her love for him had died that night. Maybe she'd preferred him to Crowfeather, but that was another Leafpool, the air-headed mouse-brain who actually thought Hawkfrost would be loyal to her. When he wasn't even loyal to his own Clan.

Leafpool felt her eyelids drop. She fell asleep to the rhythmitic beating of Crowfeather's heart.

As she sank into much-needed rest, she thought, _I wonder what's happening in the Clans..._


	10. Proper Goodbyes

She stared out over the lake. So much had happened in the past few moons. So much had gone wrong, so much had gone right, so much had changed.

Leafpool still remembered following her sister to the site of Firestar's near-death. She still remembered blaming Brambleclaw, then seeing all that blood and realizing he'd _saved_ her father. But from whom? She knew before she even approached the lake. Hawkfrost.

Seeing his body lying there, lifeless, still, _dead,_ had hurt her more than any betrayal, more than any tooth or claw could ever do. Her heart was wrenched out all over again. At that moment she hated Brambleclaw for what he did - but at the same time, she revered him, for saving her father, for saving the Clans, for saving himself. For being loyal enough, _good_ enough, to qualify for her sister's mate.

At least _they_ were happy. Her and Crowfeather's parting had been bittersweet. Crowfeather seemed to have been embarassed after that; she'd been completely shocked when he mentioned he'd had a kit with Nightcloud named Breezepaw. Leafpool looked down at her round belly, swollen with the weight of kits. She still couldn't tell if she was having just one or multiple kits; it was too early in her stage to decide.

But they were Crowfeather's, she knew that. Leafpool sighed. There was supposed to be peace now. How could she have been so idiotic to think that she and Crowfeather could live a life away from the Clans, with just their family?

Once again her amber eyes travelled to her belly. And what about her kit(s)?

She'd keep them a secret. She'd ask Squirrelflight to take them on as her own. Maybe she'd never tell them that she was their mother. Leafpool sighed and swung her head up, gazing at the stars which were just beginning to appear in the sky as the sun set.

"One day, Hawkfrost," she whispered, barely conscious of what she was saying. "One day we will meet again. I don't love you anymore. I love Crowfeather. But one day, I will meet you again, whether you are in StarClan or the Place of No Stars, and we will exchange our proper goodbyes."


End file.
